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This blog post is all about simple ways to love your children every day.
As I think of things for this blog post, my oldest daughter is standing tall in her toddler tower, playing with water at the kitchen sink.
My heart rejoices, overflows, and I thank God for the feeling of love.
Before becoming a mom, I had imagined how I would show my kids love. But ahem, that’s before. Then there’s becoming a mom—a whole different story. And then I became a mom to a toddler, and that’s a WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY.
A love you never thought was possible starts. Yet we overcomplicate how to show our children love.
You start to believe that in order to love them, you need to play with them ALL DAY LONG, buy them everything those little hands touch and want, set up activities, and neglect everything else. That is so far from the truth.
Your time is all they need. It doesn’t have to be all day long, though.
Here are a few simple ways to love your children every day.
Love Your Children
Learn Their Love Language
Everyone, including your kiddos, has one specific Love Language out of the five that makes them feel the most loved.
The five Love Languages are:
- Words of affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
Understanding your child’s Love Language takes intention and time; Love Languages can also change with time. However, learning your child’s Love Language can bring the two of you together, and you can fill their cup without doing all these things that make no impact in their love tank.
For example, if your main Love Language is Acts of Service and your partner only shows you love through physical touch, this might only create resentment and might not make you feel as loved.
But when your partner does an “Act of Service,” you feel deep love and appreciation for him.
The same goes for the little ones. One might like Physical Touch, and the other Words of affirmation. You just have to be watchful of which one you can see that makes them feel the most loved.
The Five Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively is a book that explores love languages in depth. It’s a great read!
One-on-One Time
If you ever feel like your kids are too whiny throughout the day, it might be because you haven’t dedicated one-on-one time with them. One-on-one time is not just about keeping them occupied; it’s about building a strong bond, boosting their self-esteem, and fostering better communication.
Remember, when your kids are whiny, it’s often because they need attention or something to do.
Understanding their needs is the first step to addressing their behavior.
One-on-one time with your kids doesn’t have to be a grand, expensive outing. It can be as simple as lying down, hanging out, reading their favorite book, or baking with them. The key is to make them feel valued and heard.
Set Time Aside every day to Sit Down & Play
Make time throughout your day to sit down and play. Imagination play is not for everyone, but you will also not pass out from dedicating 20 minutes to playing with your child/ren.
This also isn’t only about you. It’s about your children.
Playtime for little kids can be one of their biggest love languages.
It’s about building strong core memories.
Pay Attention When They Talk
Kids are not dumb. They know when we are not actively listening. One of the best ways to have open communication between you and your kids is by paying attention to them when they talk.
Look them in the eye when they talk. Don’t form an opinion or judgment unless they ask you for one.
Have you ever been talking to someone about something you deeply love, care about, or just plain old funny, and the next thing you know, they pull out their phone? Yeah, it’s not an awesome feeling.
While you may not be pulling out your phone, you could be chopping veggies, folding laundry, cleaning, etc.
Just stop.
The veggies will not run away, the laundry pile will still be there, and the cleaning will always need to be done, but not paying attention to your kids when they talk can make them not want to talk to you at all.
Let Go Last
Let go last when your little ones hug you.
Let them be the first one to say okay; that’s enough.
We’re often pushing our little ones away before they’re even done hugging us.
Let them hug you until they feel that hmmmm love tank filling up and their nervous system regulates.
If you pay close attention, you can feel their little bodies relax into your arms and a little sigh of love and bonding.
Lead Them to Christ
Leading your babies to Christ is one of the best ways you could love your little ones.
There is nothing more important in this world than taking the time throughout your day to intentionally lead your children to Christ.
That looks different in every household.
One of the best ways to lead them to Christ is by reading The Word to them. Even if they don’t understand fully yet or are dancing around, let them see you reading The Bible to them. Ask them to be like a certain character in The Bible.
When they ask questions about creation, lead them to Christ by asking them, “Hmm, I wonder what God was thinking when he created the worm…”
When you discipline, refrain from saying “because I said so” and replace it with what the Bible says and how God sees and thinks of their behavior.
Respond With Kindness
Respond with kindness in the midst of their 7th tantrum of the day.
It’s easy to be kind when your kids are behaving. You may even want to spoil them by giving them popsicles or taking them to the park.
But when they’ve thrown the 7th tantrum because they want to eat the whole batch of brownies, it can be a little hard to be kind.
In fact, you may not even want to acknowledge them, and you may start raising your voice and even rolling your eyes.
You don’t need to grant them every wish, but you could tell your little one, ” I see you, I hear you, I love you, but you cannot have more brownies,” and then redirect their behavior to something they can do.
Love Your Children by Talking to Them
I was shocked to learn from one of my friends who is a speech therapist that some kids struggle with their speech because parents won’t talk to their kids.
I couldn’t believe it.
Talk to your kids even if they can’t talk to you back.
Explain what you’re doing and what’s going on. Engage with your older ones even when they want to be left alone.
Create Family Traditions
Creating family traditions can be one of the best ways for your entire family to bond.
And yes, it starts with the mom.
Remember when you were a kid and certain family traditions were core memories, but you never really knew who came up with them or all the work that went behind them? I think it’s safe to assume that your mom made sure these family traditions stayed alive and were fun for the family.
Now it’s your turn, mama.
It doesn’t have to be extravagant.
For example, in our household, the Sabbath has become a tradition. Leading up to it is a lot of work. But my family LOVES it when Saturday comes by, and I think it’s mostly because they have my attention. We feast and enjoy the day with movies, whether it’s winter or lots of outdoor play in the summer.
Love Your Children in The Midst of a Meltdown
The hardest time to show love to your kids is when they’re having a meltdown, especially if it’s in the grocery store and Debbie, Don, and Frida down the aisle are looking at you like you don’t know how to parent.
It’s in those moments when your little one needs your love most. It helps them regulate their emotions. It teaches them that no matter what is going on, even in their most unlovable moments, Mama is right by their side with lots of love to give.
You can’t expect your little one to regulate their own emotions if you can’t. It all starts with you setting the example!!
The book “The Five Principles of Parenting” talks about regulating emotions in depth. It is SUCH A GOOD READ for mamas!!
Click HERE for the link to the book!
Tell Them You Love Them
I will never understand why it used to be so common not to show your children any signs of love or affection.
If God is love and shows us love, why do people think they need to keep it from their children?
If God tells us many, many times in the Bible that He loves us and deeply cares about us, why don’t we?
Thankfully, I think that is turning around.
More parents are showing their love and affection to their children, and it’s wonderful.
Keep doing it. Keep telling them you love them, and that you appreciate their presence.
Kids need and should be loved deeply.
Be a Better Mom
Be a Better Mom.
There is always room for improvement. Even the best-selling Christian Mama Parenting guru has areas where she needs to improve.
One of the best ways to be a better mom is to learn from other moms. Reading The Word and other parenting books and actively trying to change certain behaviors, such as impatience, snappy behavior, busy syndrome, anger, etc., will make you a better mom.
{RELATED BLOG POST: 7 ESSENTIAL FIRST-TIME PARENT BOOKS YOU CAN’T MISS}
Now, I didn’t say you need to be the perfect mom (that’s impossible), but you can always be a better mom.
Also, just because you need to improve on a few things doesn’t mean you’re a horrible mom right now.
Love Your Children
Loving your children comes easily when they’re on their best behavior, but what about when they’re not? How can you still show them love?
I hope this blog has encouraged you to show love to your kids every single day. It doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive; all it takes is your time and attention.
{NEXT POST: THE ULTIMATE WAY TO PLAN A PRODUCTIVE DAY LIKE THE PROVERBS 31 WOMAN}
